Special Agent Beverly Sommers - Personal Journal - Sunday November 29^th, 2008

23:38hrs - Nevada Desert somewhere...

So I am following my therapist's advice and writing things down - especially when I start to feel the damn rug is being pulled from under my feet.  She said I have control issues and when I feel out of control and events have me in their grip I start to freak which, let's be honest, isn't a career maker in the FBI.  Thing is, I didn't expect to be assigned to the RL X Files team even given all the shit that went down in Iraq and Afghanistan.  I mean what happened?  Does my record read ‘can deal with weird shit' and that now means I'm expected to just cope with it every day from now on?  I really don't think that's what I signed up for.

Anyway, looks like I am not alone on that score.  Poor old Chief - not only did he have a bit of a turn when we were about to use the gate that ‘Beaky' Brooks had put together but he also deposited the contents of what looked like burgers and donuts over the floor of the cave we arrived in on the other side.  I'm not entirely clear on what sent him initially pale but it has something to do with old suppressed memories coming to the surface at an inappropriate moment. Whatever, Chief didn't look like a happy bunny all evening which means at least 2 of us have issues and things we'd rather forget.  Agent Wilmot's arrival has at least had a stabilising effect on me and I'm glad we get along - nothing like another Marine around to toughen you up.

It's not the first time I have been down the rabbit hole and truth be told you do get used to it even though there's a moment where you feel suspended in space and your mind wonders whether you'll always be lost there.  I have learned to block out the feeling that there are things out in that darkness, living things of such immensity that their shapes and sizes would be impossible to describe.  It makes you feel very small.

Anyway back to the rug pulling - we're searching for Venetta Davis, held we now believe by Simon Chandler who up ‘til recently had been hiding among Elijah Caine's Sons of Twilight - an occult bike gang.  Our plan was to follow the SOT through their gate to here in the Nevada desert and then hope that they knew where Chandler was as RV intel had led us to believe they'd sent soldiers to find him.  So we arrived and scouted the SOT compound and managed to get eyes on CeeCee whose been working UC within the SOT.  We had a plan to contact her in the hope she'd know where the soldiers went but as often is the way with battlefield plans we were hostage to events.

We spotted the Outlaws (rival Hells Angels) breaching the gang's southern gates and managed to get into cover before we were seen.  Then the ATF arrived and ruined everyone's party just as Elijah Caine and his big (and I mean big) sister arrived.  Caine cut a deal with Pierce so that he could get Missy and himself out by telling us Simon's whereabouts - at a ghost town called Deal where the SOT used to do deals with the Mexican cartels - it's about six miles away.  He didn't know if Venetta was there but our guess is she must be.

Just as the dirt kicking between us and the ATF got underway, the air was suddenly full of stealth choppers and heavily armed USAF special forces personnel, led by Agent Firth who says she's Homeland Security but I know she's not because we've met before.  She's from an agency you don't talk about if you value your career although I know the Force Recon guys call them the One Three.  I think the ATF had a pair and whatever we're holding won't matter in heads up showdown with that lot.  They never play unless they're holding a Royal Flush.  Question is what are they doing here and why is she smiling at us?

I miss my dog...